Misgivings

I'm sure most of you know, I don't feel like I am very good with children.  Shocker, I know!  I don't know what to say to them other than the hello, how are you, how's school, those types of things.  I'm not good at just playing with them or being goofy, and I know all of this boils down to a lack of confidence with kids.  You put J near a child and they will be laughing in a matter of seconds whereas I stand there awkwardly biding my time. So today, I was asked to help lead the Bible story part of practice at Cangrejo (one of our sites) with the children, and immediately I was panicked!  I mean sheer terror!  I even had the elevated heart rate, sweaty palms, you get the picture.  And I can sit back and say, seriously, over leading a story with children.  But my first thoughts are I don't speak Spanish, I definitely don't read Spanish, I don't know the kids and they don't know me, kids don't like me... (anyone ever read Chicken Little?)  Of course I have the "Hallmark" version of leading the Bible lesson in my mind where I am surrounded by a plethora of children all sitting down quietly, raising their hands to answer a question, smiling, paying attention (you get it), and then lightning strikes and I am brought back to reality. (hold thought there)

(new story with same point) So the last two evenings, we have had a number of our neighborhood children on our driveway playing kickball, tag, hide-and-seek, and bombardo (sort of like dodgeball).  I have found myself almost counting down the time for when we have to say goodnight (and believe me, getting them to come is not the problem, it is getting them to leave- simply bring out a ball and the kids come from everywhere).  Don't get me wrong, it is a blast to watch and witness their excitement and energy, but my lack of confidence keeps me searching ahead for the next game or the next conversation and I don't really enjoy the here and now with them. 

J has told me MANY times in the past 2 weeks that God will hold my hand throughout everything I go through.  He will not lead me somewhere without being right beside me.  And I realized tonight, there is a reason God has opened this door to the neighborhood children.  He is preparing me for whatever lies ahead whether that be leading a Bible story to teams, running a daily VBS in our house, or simply loving on children.  And when (not if) the time comes to lead children in a Bible story, God will give me the courage and strength.  I am praying for that courage right now and for the confidence in myself to just be with these children.  To stop counting down the time and enjoy their life and energy.  I don't know what they have or don't have at home, but I can offer everything I have to them (mind, body and soul) every second I am with them. 

A verse in honor of Bear Creek Preschool Ministries:

Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these."  Matthew 19:14

 

A picture of a new neighborhood friend, Loralee, after she fixed my hair to match hers.

 

p.s.  J's first preaching at Cangrejo on Wednesday went great!  He was able to deliver the message twice, and one specific teen talked to J afterwards about coming back to Christ!!  Praise the Lord!  Please keep him in your prayers.  Also, please keep praying for J's preaching tomorrow night at church.  Thanks for all your continuous prayers!!